With all holidays, I feel a certain tenderness-- it brings up feelings of shame that I don't have a partner, guilt that perhaps I've failed my kids somehow, and even a bit of bitterness. I'm giving myself time and space to move through these emotions.
What I know to be true is that I want to model and teach my kids how to celebrate and honor their dad. If I don't teach them how show love in different ways, they might never learn.
How are we going to do this?
I've been thinking about how his dad likes to receive gifts/acknowledgement/appreciation. This is different than how I like to receive and so it takes a little creativity and curiosity.
First, I asked him if he has any requests. He said he wanted to go on a camping trip with his friends and to find someone to cover my work call that he usually watches Addie for. OK, that's easy, done.
I know he doesn't like receiving gifts of "things", but he does like quality time, sentimental things with words of affirmation and acts of service. If you know the love languages, these and physical touch are his preferences.
Then I got creative:
Bike rides with Addie is one of their favorite things to do together, so we're going to print out a large-scale map of Boulder and highlight all of their favorite spots--parks, the creek, the pool, and other special locations that they both love. We'll leave space so they can add to it together. I'll print out some photos of him and Addie and add them to the map, and I'm going to have some stickers made of the two of them on a bike so every time they go to a new special spot they can put one on the map. Oh and of course I'll make sure he's well nourished with treats.
I'm looking forward to celebrating him in a way that I believe he will enjoy. If you're not already, follow me on Instagram and Facebook so that you can see how it turns out!
Celebrating the Dad
16.07.2023
Motherhood